slow down….there’s no hurry…i want the hand i hold, to hold back…

dating have changed, I don’t think anyone would argue that point…we’ve moved to social media and more specifically to on line dating sites in an attempt to meet our potential soul mates…whether you’re ‘fish’-ing, in ‘harmony’ or using a ‘lava’ lamp – times have certainly changed…we are now asked to enter your tag line here….fill out this blank box – remember to sell yourself…put your nickname in this box…now you’ll get more hits with a picture, so upload here…okay do I tick thin, athletic, average, a few extra pounds or big and tall…damn it goes on, okay am I wanting to find someone for marriage, actively seeking or looking for a relationship or shit do I want to date but nothing serious or am I not seeking a relationship or any kind of commitment – aka hook up/one night stand, let’s book a room for an hour type of activity…shit balls – now am I single, dating, married, married and looking, in an open relationship or the favorite – it’s complicated…

again holy shit balls…I was talked into putting a profile on a lovely on line dating site once and did it…stayed on it for a few months – came off…then I went on again…and as the saying goes, fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me…mother effer’s shame on me…

keep an open mind, they said…don’t be too picky, they said…everyone doesn’t take a nice picture, they said…you gotta weed through the bad ones, they said…you know so and so met online and now they’re engaged, they said…

let’s say, I’ve met a few doucebags…well, that’s not really nice, but losers sounds so much worse…so sticking with doucebags…

my tagline was “sucker for a cute smile”…my status “single”…my intent “looking for a relationship”…my blank box read “dating certainly has changed in the past few years…but alas I find myself on line filling out this little blank box – here goes…I’m a single girl, looking for a single boy…quite simple really, but boy oh boy quite the contrary…I’m old fashioned in the sense that I like a guy to take the initiative to introduce himself to me…I love face to face meetings – I get a thrill out of reading people’s expressions…I enjoy laughter – I truly believe it keeps us young…I treasure my family and take pride in the friendships I have…I work in the health care field on a full time basis and do private consulting in the evenings and weekends…I have no children – well I have a 4legged monster of a child, a 90lb’er that will tackle you at first sight…but if you believe in love at first sight, you’ll love this monster…If you can make me laugh, you can have my heart”…

respectful…I thought…

now I’m not quite sure where in that message a person would get the idea that I’d like to and I quote “get _____ in the _____”…not sure why someone would write to me and ask “you want me to ____ in your face”…not sure what part of my descriptor a person thought I’d respond to “like to meet at my place” without knowing his first name and not sure why I’d want to meet you this weekend just “cause my wife is out of town”…now along with these messages, I did get some really enlightening ones, for instance and I quote “hey”, “hi”, “nice night hey”, “how’s the fishing going” and my all time favorite message “pic please”…

respectful…I think not…

oh dating, don’t be picky, be open minded – so I did, I sucked it up and I went on a few dates…well first dates and then came the text from me “today is a good day to lose my number”, I pull that one liner out a lot…

see there was the fashionista “I only shop at Spring for my footwear, so watch out I’m styling” boy who also turned into a previous “stripper” and showed me some dance moves at the dinner table…there was the one guy who  I truly believe couldn’t read as he threw the menu at me, yelled “I gotta piss, order me something” and went to the bathroom as the waitress stared at me in disbelief…there was the guy who stated he was 5’11 and was really 5’1” – big difference…there was this one guy whose ex girlfriend followed us all the way downtown to a local pub, waited outside and when we came out an hour later, called him over…he said and I quote “be right back”…oh he came back with a bloody nose as the ex girlfriend had punched him in the face through the driver’s side window…there was the “do you mind if I drink a beer on the way there” guy who was pretty much trashed at the beginning of the date…there was the really nice guy who took me to a party at a cousin’s house on around the third date – they were rolling smokes the old hardcore way and questioning “how much you pay for your car”, “how much you pay for that necklace”, “how much you pay for that watch” and my fave “you bought a house – on your own” finished with “man you got it all don’t ya” – “wanna smoke”…there was the guy who said and I quote “mom left me some money, I really wanna cook you supper tomorrow night”…I seriously could go on and on…so the next person who says don’t be so picky, give him a chance, be open minded, if you think my answer sounds sarcastic, it really, truly is….did I mention I went on a date one time with a guy who smokes pot daily, “just cause”…did I mention I went on a date one time with a guy who doesn’t work and lives with his mom, “just cause”…I’m not picky fuckers, I’m just fucking tired…

“weed through the bad ones joey”…dudes, I got enough weeds in my back yard, I’m good to go…if I wanted a hook up, I’d go to secret poutine…if I wanted a boyfriend, I’d have a boyfriend…if I enjoyed fishing, I’d have my own rod and reel, hells I would make my own flies, if I liked it that much…now yes yes, I know some people are gonna read this and have met their partners through on line dating and others who have had positive experiences, don’t sweat it – I’m not hatin’, its my blog though, so my experience…if you don’t agree, write your own…

see, what baffles me is that when my folks talk about their courting and when I crash dates with my bff’s and their partners, I don’t hear any of the disrespect that I have gotten from this new dating…I don’t think everyone we meet, will fall in love with us…but I do think that mutual respect is missing in a lot of people’s lives…my folks still hold hands when going for a walk…my folks still giggle and laugh at each other every minute of the day…my folks don’t hang up the phone without saying “I love you” and meaning it…

we’re in a world that moves so fast…

why do guys and girls think they need someone in their lives…what happened to the wanting…the yearning for hand holding, the butterfly kisses, the ‘I love you’s’…what happened in this big ole world, that we think we need two pay checks to survive, we need someone to help us clean the house, shovel the driveway, mow the lawn, we need to start a family, we need to finally be able to tick off the +1 on an invite and why do we live beyond our means…I’m not sure…

when you meet someone – does your heart flutter, does your belly do flip flops, does your cheeks redden…do you use your smile muscles more than your frown muscles…do you wanna show them off to the world…and do you treasure the ground they walk on…my mother would say yes, my father would say fuck yes…aim for the yes/fuck yes people – they never disrespect each other…yearn for the perfect fit – be the two peas in a pod couple…be it, live it but don’t fake it…it’s not becoming of you and it’s not respectful of the life we have only to live once – do it right, there ain’t no going back…

respect is all i want…not too much to ask for out of our life partners…simple really, like a single girl looking for a single boy – simple concept…ask the right questions, be honest and say yes, only when you’re comfortable saying yes…

slow down….there’s no hurry…i want the hand i hold, to hold back…