we all have a story…

 

trust is a mere 5-letter word that can pack a punch…over time we develop trust in many people in our lives…but what happens when someone breaks that trust…what happens when someone really uses those things you are passionate about against you…what happens when you work your damnedest to create a persona of yourself, only to have someone make you question your life’s work…

it’s hard to gain trust…we talk about it daily and we emphasize that without trust there really is no relationship – no matter what type of relationship you are involved in, there has to be trust…

I hear stories everyday…real stories…real stories I can’t share with others…real stories that make your hair stand straight up on your neck…real stories that you need a hankie to wipe away the disbelief and sadness for humanity…

how is one person in this world put up against another…what gives one the worry of the world and the other the glory of the world…

am I jealous…am I uptight…am I angry…what am i…

do I live my life in a bubble….do I live my life for my work…what do I live for…

who even cares…

I cry with people who have experienced great loss in their lives…lost their love for themselves…lost their innocence…lost their hope for a life beyond tragedy…lost their belief in human kind…lost their dignity…and lost their spirit…

I think as life progresses into the latter years for me, I’ve become an advocate for those that have no voice and those with voices who speak just to hear themselves really just piss me off…

I love fighting for those who are belittled, degraded, stomped on, lost, driven away, and forgotten…and I damn those who think they know more, can make better decisions, and have better lives than those they encounter…

life is about learning and if you think you are beyond learning, then shame on you…

I look back on my experiences and I shutter to think I went through them but I cherish the end result…growing older and wiser isn’t about walking away from your past…it’s about walking towards your future with your past experiences in a knapsack – always there if you need to reach in for some encouragement from your younger self, but always zipped closed so nothing your future self may need gets lost…I’m a true believer in ‘everything happens for a reason’…I’m a true believer in negating your life of negativity as a means to survival and I’m a true believer that no matter how others view you, you are always the priority in your life, you are always the expert in your life experiences and you are always the one with choices of how today, tomorrow and the next day will play out…

I lived a life of control at one point…a silent partner in a world of opportunities…a world of opportunities that never really went anywhere…they surrounded me like childhood friends in a playground…remember the days of Red Rover, Red Rover…I’d silently yell ‘send Danielle over’ in my dreams night after night…where did she go, I’d tackle from time to time and then I’d forget…it wasn’t until a few years later did I realize that Danielle never really went anywhere…

I think the loss of a best friend at an early age really hit me hard…it was a time of denial that she was gone…it was a time that I wasn’t allowed to grieve cause grieving didn’t make sense…I look at 21year olds now and I think, gentle jesus your babies…the feelings of love, the feelings of heartbreak, the feelings of loss, the feelings of shock and the feelings of shear emptiness…how is one to deal at any age…

coping day-to-day is a chore for some…it’s a goal for some…and it’s taken for granted by most…I preach daily that everyone has a story, a story worth sharing and a story worth living…we talk about each story, we role play situations and we problem solve daily decisions…we live in a world of unknowns and we live in a world where we forget that today is a gift…

the focus of mental wellness should be on everyone’s radar…wellness is not only about what we put in our mouths as nutrition nor is it how much we exercise…wellness is about the clarity in our minds, the interest in opportunities, the ability to cope with those day-to-day stressors and most importantly the feeling of meaning and purpose in this life we live…

trust in a partnership with ourselves is key to mental wellness…building a life of trust within our own selves is the first step to true happiness – now this is in my mind, remember my blog – my thoughts 🙂

I’m learning at the tender age of 46, that living life for yourself isn’t well received by others living their lives for others…it’s weird really…ever think, how is that person so happy – there must be something she’s hiding…ever think, of course that person isn’t with anyone, she’s always working – there must be something wrong with her…ever think, why is she so busy – she must be avoiding something…ever think, why can’t that person do that one thing for me – god she’s no busier than I am – she must be evading something…our minds are wonderful things…I think I wrote before that I was always the yes person…the one that would do anything for anyone…you all know one of those people in your life, don’t fib…see when that person finally decides to live for themselves and not others, the others struggle to find balance…all of a sudden, the yes person in your life is saying no…the yes person is happier without you…the yes person is replacing running around for quiet time…the yes person has screwed with your mind…

don’t be the yes person in people’s lives for the sake of being the yes person…you’re wasting away your valuable time…don’t get me wrong, enjoying company is something I crave…but I want everyone to experience the feeling of craving themselves…

sit on a dark patio on a Saturday night…listen to the party across the street with a smile on your face…picture the stories of tomorrow…stare at the stars and know that there is someone else out there staring at the same stars…enjoy life as life is meant to be enjoyed – free from judgment, free from ridicule, free from the loudness of humanity…

when you wake in the morning, you’ll rejoice in the sound of your first breath and as you wipe away the sleep from your eyes, remember everyone has a story – your day is your day, use it wisely…

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