love…where would we be without it…

love…is a dangerous thing…it takes a hold of a person and sometimes never lets go…

love…is a wonderful thing…it takes a hold of a person and sometimes never lets go…

love…

I have love in my life in many forms…lately the love of a 4legged monster has stolen my heart and made me realize that I don’t think I’ve experienced love like this before…I think it was at the point that I looked in his lil eyes and thought I own you that I realized there are many different forms of love…I have the capacity to love – I dearly and whole heartedly love my family – with every ounce of my body I treasure that privilege to love them…with that said I also have the capacity to fall out of love – it’s been done…I’ve fallen out of love with partners and with friends in my life…the very thought that love is such an intense feeling that one day we cherish it and one day we disparage it, is what makes it so perplexing to me…

love…

I think we all have had times in our lives that we have said ‘I love you’ too quickly, not quickly enough or simply whispered it to ourselves using only our inside voices without the other person being privy to hearing it…I think we all have people in our lives that we think share the love that we have for them but maybe they don’t…we can’t duplicate love, that’s why it’s such a mystical concept…I watch people…it’s what I do…I observe people…it’s what I do…I analyze people…it’s what I do…love intrigues me…

what is love…a feeling? an emotion? a privilege? I see you, staring at your loved ones with sparkle in your eyes…I see you, stealing a glimpse of your partner as they walk by your side…I see you, embracing the twinkle of your children as they fall asleep in you arms…I see you creeping on facebook with a grin on your face as you sneak a peek at your crush…I see you, but do you see me…

how do you classify love…is it what defines you? is it who you are? do you need it? do you crave it? do you have it?

love to me is what I feel in my heart…when I was younger it was what I thought I would have in my world from a partner…I had that once, well I thought I did…my love was a classic tale of feeling belonged…feeling like this is the way my life should be…experiencing heartbreak was the defining moment for me to know I was not in love…I was in settlement mode…I look at my siblings and I see them look at their partners…I look at my in laws and I see them looking at my siblings…I see something in them that I haven’t experienced…I thought I did, but I so haven’t…as the years pass, that understanding of love that I had when I was younger seems to dwindle and the concept of love in its true sense blossoms right in front of me…love…pure love…the love I feel when I look at my nephews…the love I feel when I see my parents walk ahead of me holding hands…the love I feel when I wake to a sun filled room…the love I feel when I feel I’ve accomplished something at work…the love I feel when I sit across from a friend and giggle our asses off…the love I feel when I see how happy my siblings are…that’s the love I need in my world…that’s the love that at the end of the day I can hold onto…that’s the love that sometimes others don’t validate in our worlds and shame on them for that…whatever love is for you, embrace it, shout it to the world and to those that give that pity held tilt because they deem your love not enough for a fairy tale ending– tell them to screw off…

is love an indicator of status…

people watching is a skill…well if your good at it and don’t get caught – that’s the skill…sometimes I get lost in the faces of others…faces tell a thousand stories…boredom, lust, love, loneliness, happiness, sadness, comfort, belonging, smitten – I could go on…

love…have you ever thought something is missing from your life because you don’t have the love that society thinks you should have…have you ever thought something is missing from your life because you don’t have the love that you thought you’d have at this point in your life…I often hear people describe loneliness as a lack of love…is it? when I think of my own world, I will admit that I’ve thought the same…how does one go through life without finding that soul mate, that love of one’s life…some say a life without love is a life without meaning…some say a life without love isn’t worth living…some say never give up, love is around the corner…some say love will come when you least expect it…but isn’t that setting oneself up for disappointment and a life of waiting…isn’t that saying that love is only in the form of another being – someone who completes us…what about the love that surrounds us everyday…is that enough for some people…and if it is, why do others judge…

recently I’ve coined myself a realist…not that I’m going around yelling to the world, “here ye here ye, danielle hogan is a realist”…but peering into my world and reflecting on my experiences, I donned the title with confidence…once I associated myself with this term, I googled it…cause isn’t that what we all do…I was pleasantly surprised…the urban definition is as follows: Realists have a firm grip on reality and can see things for what they are, not what they are told they are. Realists have their own views and do not fall victim to propaganda, misconception, or titles! 1. There is the Pessimist who believes the glass is half empty! 2. There is the Optimist who believes the glass is half full! 3. Then there is the Realist who knows it is just half a fucking glass!

well sure didn’t I giggle my ass off…of course I’m a realist cause it is just a fucking glass…

I read once “love is a word used by many, but understood by few”…I use the word love daily with my family…our conversations never end without saying ‘I love you’ and truly meaning it…the sound of my father, my mother, my sister or my brother saying ‘I love you’ brings a warmth to my heart and a calmness to my soul…the sound of my nephews saying ‘I love you auntie joey’ brings a smile to my face and a song to my ears…I will never question the love they have for me…never…I don’t have to it’s unconditional…growing up in my household, love is a word that we heard all the time, it was used daily, numerous times…I believe my parents instilled in me a sense of home…and home is where my love blossomed…the trick is once you leave your parents home, how is that love nourished and passed on to others…my siblings shine at love…they embrace life as it comes…

and what happens to others that didn’t have the opportunity to learn from parents like mine…love is a universal language…you learn it from other people, animals, songs, poems, stories, nature, movies and the list goes on…as long as your mind is open, the possibility of love is endless…we need to let go of the idea that having love is synonymous with being in love…we need to let go of the idea that one love is greater than another’s love…love shouldn’t be measured in intensity or duration…

the realist in me wants to yell at those waiting or yearning for love to snap out of it…but that’s cruel…when someone says to me, oh your turn is coming, I want to scream – can you shut the fuck up, how dare you think I’m waiting for it…when someone says to me, it’s never too late, keep your chin up, I want to scream – for the love of god and punch them in the throat…phew – rage much danielle…love is definitely something that makes the world a better place…although the realist in me says there is a fine line between love and hate…

love, when you have it, you know…

love, when you don’t have it people will often remind you that you don’t have it and that you should be looking for it…

love…where would we be without it…I know, because I’ve seen it…it’s bleak, lonely and bewildering…it’s as if you are staring straight through a person’s soul when you look in the eye of someone with no love in their lives…there are individuals out there that have never experienced that butterfly feeling in their tummies; never had the love of a child steal their heart; never had a person hold their hand, just cause; never had a soft ‘I love you’ whispered in their ear; never had the support of their parents to strive for what they wanted and never felt someone lie next to them and wanna be the small spoon…

I want to teach people that no matter who you are or where you are – you will always have love if you have yourself…don’t allow people to take the love you have away from you…don’t allow people to belittle what you believe is the love in your life…the pity head tilt is so overrated…with pity comes judgment and there’s no room for judgment in the concept of love…open your mind and your world will get bigger and brighter…I was at a memorial service recently and the concept of smiling was talked about…this individual was known for her smiles and her loving self…as part of a tribute to her, her friend suggested that we take a moment and look at the person next to us and smile…a room filled to capacity all stopped for that second, turned to the person next to them and simply smiled…it was heartwarming and it was endearing…it’s a practice I’ve taken home and to heart…the world gets smaller if we stomp on others…lets as a society praise each other up and allow those individuals that are struggling day in day out to feel that love is around them in many forms…love could be a simple smile…try it, your heart will feel warm…

love…is a dangerous thing…it takes a hold of a person and sometimes never lets go…

love…is a wonderful thing…it takes a hold of a person and sometimes never lets go…

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