I’m getting married…to myself…and I’m registered at Tiffany’s…

I’m getting married to myself…who else could I trust with my life…

babies, weddings, showers, new house, new job, birthdays, new puppy, new kitten, retirement, anniversaries, divorce, second marriage, get well, and the list goes on…such joyous occasions that we all love celebrating…in my 43 years, my weekends have been bombarded with planning, preparing, participating and cleaning up after celebrations…my wallet has been continuously open shelling out money for gifts for every little occasion…but when does a single girl catch a break…well we have our birthdays but as we get over that ripe age of ‘no one gives a fuck’, really the celebrations dwindle…trying to plan something for yourself is not the point of a celebration, trying to organize a date, time, week, or month that people can spare an hour, is trying and truly in my 43rd year, a waste of my energy…

we browse stores, registries and hunt for hints of what to buy each other…we strive to find the most unique, most memorable, most awesome gifts…we wrap, we sign, and now we give gift receipts…now to me the concept of a gift receipt is almost like, ‘hummmm, I’ll pick this up so I have something to wrap, but I’ll put the receipt in so they can return it and get something they really want’ – personal touch at it’s best right there…

to each of us, we have special occasions in our lives that mean more to us than others…don’t get me wrong I love celebrating with family and friends and I love shopping for others…but when can I register…when can I go to a store with a scanner and scan my little heart out…my invites are pretty, a tiffany blue with white accent ribbon…

it reads…I’m getting married to myself…and I’m registered at Tiffany’s…

my alter ego wants to write…I’m getting married to myself, pony up bitches…but that’s the alter ego talking…

celebrations are our way of sharing our feel good stories with those around us…in my line of work, we do celebrations on a biweekly basis…celebrations of our clients and their progress in life, in goal attainment and in taking a breath and getting out of bed that day…these celebrations are usually followed by a group ‘jazz hands’ or a loud woop woop depending on the day…these celebrations are small, not big…some would think even unimportant but yet a celebration…a celebration without a neatly wrapped gift but well deserved ‘jazz hands’…

why as a society have we associated celebrations and milestones with the 10 table diamond, bigger houses, rented halls, white gowns and rented tuxedos… why as a society have we associated celebrations and milestones with emptying our wallets…what happened to a simple handwritten note, a hug, a coffee date, a phone call or a simple ‘jazz hand’ dance and a woop woop when someone succeeds in their day to day accomplishments…society seems to have lost the concept of surprise and wanting to give and leaped into the concept of expectations and who gave the biggest, most expensive gift…

when I reference society, I too am talking to myself…I worked in a high end retail store for many years and have grown to love nice things…I remember as a child, thinking my aunt was just amazing…she was so stylish, had the most intricate things in her home and just wrapped things in the most beautiful way – it was a talent, it is a talent…she was my inspiration to strive to have the same things she had, to make things, no matter what they were – look amazing…I learned from her that presentation is key, the thought of a gift is key, the thought of embracing the celebration is key…it wasn’t what was in the box, it was the thought…she instilled in me the joy of finding that perfect thing for the perfect person in an effort to celebrate – celebrate whatever the occasion…

I’m getting married to myself…that’s a commitment I can uphold forever…

in recent years, I’ve slacked on my love of giving – it only struck me as I was putting this thought into print…I’ve slacked on my love of giving – I think I lost the passion to find that uniqueness in giving; I think I lost the giddiness of how I felt when I looked at something and thought OMG he/she would sooo love this…I think my world changed with gift cards…I truly feel they took the personal touch out of giving…I’ve gone from thinking – OMG he/she would sooo love this – to well they can bring it back if they don’t like it – holy that’s an awful thought in my head…

I’ve lost that personal touch feeling…I’m guilty…and this is not to sound mean or ungrateful – it’s just my thoughts on this day…I’ve turned into the sister that mails cards and gifts late…it’s a joke in the family and I get angry at myself every time…angry at me not the ones saying ‘seriously danielle, my birthday was 3 months ago”…cause that’s really sucky…my goal every Christmas is to send Christmas cards to everyone in my life…I get to Christmas and then my goal shifts to oh maybe I’ll send out Happy New Years cards to everyone, cause they won’t expect that…and then it’s March and I think “oh fuck”…and then it’s June and I think “sweet christ”…

jesus, I suck…it’s like my every year plan…but it’s September already…lol lol lol…and the cycle continues…

I used to have my life so organized until my world became disorganized…a disorganized mind is a lethal entity…it impacts a person’s soul, it impacts a person’s thoughts, it impacts a person’s believe system and it impacts a person’s passion for giving and sharing…sometimes I feel like I’m poisoned…how can one have so much and be so angry all the time…I think one of my greatest lessons this year was feeling disappointed…as a child I hated when my parents would say “no sweetie, we’re not mad at you, we’re just disappointed”….like knife in heart kinda feeling…this year I think I finally know what they mean…it’s such a weird feeling, this disappointment….i didn’t like it…I don’t like it…and as a result of my feeling it, I believe I have disappointed others in my unwillingness to sometimes just chill out and be there for others in times of celebrations…I am there for my clients 100% of the time…it’s so weird that I’m only there for myself 60%…

my disorganized mind has resulted in my not caring…and by not caring to be on time for things, my not caring about mailing by a certain date, my not caring to do just about anything is really a sign of rudeness and lack of respect for others…there’s a golden rule that I have omitted from my well raised life, “one should treat others as one would like others to treat oneself’…damn my parents for being so god damn good…

I think sometimes when we find ourselves disappointed that a celebration, big or small is not acknowledged with a simple ‘jazz hands’, hand written note or text, we become disheartened…but that golden rule always applies…I think what’s happened is that we and really I mean I, have been treating others how I feel treated and that’s not cool…I wasn’t raised like that…maybe I’m not the only one feeling disorganized in my world and we’re just all clashing at this one time…

I feel like this blog requires a disclaimer – a statement to reiterate that it’s not about the gifts or the invites or the fact that no one is going to buy off my registry except for me, it’s about the golden rule…it’s about respecting each others celebrations, big or small…it’s about showing up when you’re wanting to stay down…it’s about making time for others in this busy world…it’s about making time for those single peeps in your life…we all get so caught up in our own lives, that we don’t realize that there are others around us that simply need a hug, a note, a text or a phone call…

those of us not registered, have busy schedules – don’t judge us for that…those of us not registered, may spend a little more on our shoes, purses or vacations – don’t judge us for that…those of us not registered may need a little one on one from time to time…you may think we’re all sipping martinis, eating sushi, and rubbing shoulders with well dressed peeps but some of us are just sitting on a patio dreaming of what’s next…

one of my favorite television personalities once said “The fact is. Sometimes it’s hard to walk in a single woman’s shoes. That’s why we need really special ones now and then to make the walk a little more fun”…

the bottom line is…i choose me…i choose the golden rule…i choose to rid my mind of disorganization…i choose to sit back and enjoy the simple, daily celebrations of those around me and most importantly i choose to celebrate myself for the choices i’ve made that have made me the person i am…i choose an open mind and i choose to rid myself of the disappointment that i have felt in the past…will i get those christmas cards out on time this year, hell’s i can’t commit to that yet, but i can commit to me…for that i do a silent ‘jazz hands’ for me…

I’m getting married…to myself…and I’m registered at Tiffany’s…no purchase required, but take your time and browse…it’s the least you can do…celebrate my marriage and my commitment to danielle…its the most wonderful relationship i can give myself…

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2 thoughts on “I’m getting married…to myself…and I’m registered at Tiffany’s…

  1. Hi Danielle,
    I’ve been reading and LOVING your blog! Laughed out loud many times! Your truth and tone is so relatable! Thanks for taking the time to share! *jazz hands* woop woop!

    Liked by 1 person

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